HELP, I need advice...

Okay, here is where I am right now...uncertain, nervous, anxious and afraid.

I am still working part-time for the lab - 17.5 hours a week. Financially I needed another job or a new job about 3 weeks ago. The office I have been training in since last Friday (training without pay by the way) has in fact offered me the position...but...it is a contract position. I would not be an employee of this doctor. I would be responsible for a great deal of work (time consuming) for less money than I currently make at the lab. I would be required to travel to the US on occasion for training sessions (remember hubby works every evening and attends school during day so who do I leave kids with for 3-4 days). If I take this job I would have to quit the lab and I am only being guaranteed 4 days a week. I would be responsible for arranging my hours to meet the needs of this job and the schedule of the clinic the job is at. My job is clinical trials and I would be responsible for "drumming up clients", advertising the trial and paid based on how many I bring in for the trial. Some trials can take up to a year to complete. Because I would be a contactor, no deductions will be made for income tax, EI, Canada pension etc. I have to be available by pager at all times. And I have no assurance of liability protection as I am an independant contractor if I take this.

I like the work. But there is a lot of it. With family and church there is no way I could continue at the lab. If I don't bring in the numbers required I may not get paid and/or I may be terminated. Some of the aspects of the position I don't feel I'm fully qualified to do. And the "talk" in the beginning went from learning the job and doing it with someone to starting next week doing it all on my own. I feel really unsure about all this but I realistically HAVE TO HAVE THIS JOB. I feel like if I don't take it I'll be letting my family down, especially since we've been scrimping as it is. But for some reason, the more I'm at this place the more I get an uneasy feeling and I don't really want to be there.

My FABULOUS husband is being great. He doesn't want me to lose my mind over this. He said he trusts my instincts implicitly and feels unsure too. He suggested talking my concerns over with the Dr but the contract the Dr has given me to sign that outlines all this is pretty straight forward. I have a feeling it is written the way it is for a reason. I'm doubtful he would be willing to alter it too much, but I will talk to him about my concerns before I sign anything.

Sorry for the ranting but I'm really uncertain about this one. Why would God give me this ONLY offer (after three months of looking) if I weren't supposed to jump at it!?!

Thanks in advance for any input you can offer. You will be helping a partially insane woman avoid becoming completely insane. And for that I will be eternally grateful.
Thanks :-{

God is good and He has a great sense of humour...

So, as you all know I have been looking (both actively and not so much) for a new job since the beginning of January. After handing out between 20-25 resumes, applying on-line for approx. 10 jobs and being granted one interview (and nothing else) I got a nibble. One of the random resumes I dropped off at a Dr's office in town called me to come in and "briefly speak with the doctor". That was last Wednesday. The doctor asked me to come back in today to follow around an employee and so he could get a "feel" for whether or not I would fit in. I was there today from 8:30 until noon and was told I helped a great deal. I was asked by both the employee and the Dr to return again next week for a few more hours of "seeing how this will all work out". Then the doctor asked me if I would be available the week after next for some more "seeing..."

God is good. He never lets us down and without Him we are useless (in my opinion). So He gave me exactly what I asked for. I love this job. This would be an amazing job to have - really interesting - so I really hope it works out. The timing is also perfect because I think before long I was going to have to sell the van (we don't yet own) to cover bills. So I came home today excited and eager to become a REGULAR part of that doctor's team (I pray)......

But...

When I got home there was a message from my supervisor at the part-time job I'm still with, asking me to work full time 10-6:30 Monday to Friday for the next 5 weeks. Five weeks because a co-worker has to be out of the country for that long due to a family emergency. So now what???? Do I say no to that because I've already committed to be at the doctor's office 2 days next week for 3 or 4 hours each day as part of the "seeing if I fit" or do I tell them I can no longer agree to that so I can work full time and buy groceries?????

After a quick prayer and a great sense of agreeing to "do what you said you would do", I will follow through with my committment to the doctor as I said I would today. So, I will be there with him next week instead of full time at the lab.

I'm just kinda in limbo because this great doctor (and he really is) has not mentioned anything about compensation for my time there "seeing if I will work out". Should I ask???? Or should I ask him how long he thinks I may continue training there for free??? I really don't want to be rude, or pushy but I also don't want us to be kicked out of our townhouse. Arg. God has a great sense of humour. Begging for a job one minute to be stuck deciding between two.

Why do I feel like Charlie Brown?
:-)