Christmas Blues...

I can honestly say I have never experienced Christmas blues - until now. Christmas has always been a time of love, and cheer. I love celebrating my Lord at any time. Celebrating His birth has always been a special event with my family - since Brad and I were married at least. For the first time ever I feel nothing but overwhelmed and sad. I'm sad about everything. Sad about families losing loved ones, people going through trials and health problems, sad about people being alone at Christmas. I really don't like people to be alone at Christmas. So much so that we are having 2 guests Christmas day this year who would otherwise be alone. But I just cannot regain that joy that I've always had at Christmas. Everything feels like a chore - my job, the kids, all the shopping and preparation, the house and now even the finance stuff. I just feel like I'm trapped under tonnes of weight and I'm suffocating. I used to have trouble understanding why people couldn't be happy at Christmas. Now I understand. But I really don't want to bring anybody down. Sorry for whining. I guess I hoped spilling my guts in writing would help. It hasn't. Sorry. Anyway, it's not Christmas just yet so maybe there's a chance I'll change. Huh, that's kinda funny, I'm listening to the radio and they are now playing a song called "Christmas Blues". Yeah.